He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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