I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
