You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
