I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
