are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
