super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
