i love accidental penises.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
