I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
More tranny stories later!
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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