Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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