Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
