We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We got so high we made milksteak
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
