drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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