The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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