Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
