Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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