I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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