Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
