dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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