Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
