I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just pynch a tree in the face
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize