JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
