I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
