Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
