I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
