no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
