So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
