it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
