My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
