I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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