I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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