we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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