I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
