Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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