3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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