The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize