She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize