its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
