We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
