yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize