DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
