If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
