We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
