I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
