your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
