so explain again why im purple
no
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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