my mouth tastes like poor choices
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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