I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
