Im at strip club and am horny
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
whose parrot is this?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
