he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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