soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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