She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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