is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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