Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize