You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
