I'm really into asian looking animals
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
