Barsexuality is the new black.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
soo... how was my night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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