I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
