the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize