please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
