the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
