Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
