i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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